On August 31st, we welcomed our second greatest human joy to the family! This birthing story isn't as great as the first one. I'll try to keep it short, but you know how that goes!
3:00 am - Woke up to some Braxton Hicks that lead to contractions. They were very sporadic and weren't that painful so I wasn't sure if it was THE TIME.
4:30 am - These are contractions. They are still sporadic but ranging anywhere from 5-8 minutes apart lasting about 1-3 minutes. Pain is still tolerable. My older sister, Sarah (side note *she is about 8 months pregnant and could go ANY day as well), woke up around 3:30 and was talking with but has since gone back to sleep. At this point, I figure that I should let Josh know that I am having contractions and to get ready. So I sweetly reach over and gently shake his shoulder. Nothing. I wait about 10 minutes and do it again. Not even a stir. Hello sir! I am trying to be nice and wake you up to tell you that the third greatest thing (counting marriage) to ever happen to us is going to arrive today and you are sleeping like the dead! Finally, after about 10 more minutes I roughly wake him up and tell him that I am having contractions. One thing you have to remember about my husband is he is an absolute BEAR in the mornings or if you wake him up. His response? "Okay!" as he rolls back over to go to sleep. EXCUSE ME?! I punch him in the arm and tell him again that I am having contractions. He asks me how far apart they are and if we need to go to the hospital. After talking briefly about how they aren't that close yet, he says alright and AGAIN rolls back over to sleep because "there's nothing he can do." As much as I want to sock him in the face, I know that he is right so I go back to reading a book on my iPad.
5:30 am - I decide that I am going to get in the shower and wash my hair because there is no telling when this is going to happen again. Mr. Bear is still sleeping and having a snoring contest with Chewy. I get out of the shower and dry my hair when I notice that things are starting to get a little more active.
6:45 am - Contractions are about 4 minutes apart last 2-3 minutes. I am now having to do the hippo breathing (this is the sound I make - I always feel like it's what hippos breathe like. Maybe it's because I feel and look like a hippo??) through my contractions due to the invisible knife that is going in and out of my low abdomen and back. I guess I am faking it really well because Mr. Bear is not convinced that I am having contractions. He has the balls to ask me if I'm sure that this is THE TIME. I politely inform him that if he doesn't get his @$$ up and get ready to go that it will be THE TIME to physically assault him! (That is the web-friendly version of what I tell him)
7:10 am - As I'm making sure my bag is packed, Mr. Bear decides that he forgot to do something at work that just HAD to be done right now. Before we went to the hospital. Murder. He takes off to work (which is about 10 minutes away minus all the traffic. But guess what? Morning traffic STINKS around here so it will take him for-ev-er!) while I wake up and get Mase ready. Have you ever tried getting a two year old ready while having contractions? As I am trying to change his diaper and get clothes on I am hit with a massive contraction. I have found that walking through contractions make it hurt less so here I am walking circles around the room while hippo breathing. Mase finds this absolutely hysterical and begins giggle fits as he claps his hands for more. At least I'm amusing to someone.
7:30 am - Mase is dressed. Contractions are 3-4 minutes apart lasting about 3 minutes. I am calling the nurse to talk to them. As I am talking to her and juggling Mase, she asks me if I can breathe through the pain. How bad is the pain? But can you breathe through it? She keeps asking these same questions like she does not believe I am in labor. I know this is labor and WHY ISN'T ANYONE BELIEVING ME?! I ended up snapping at her that "yes, I can breathe them. I can walk upright through them. Yes they ARE CONTRACTIONS." I am about to commit murder at this point when she tells me to come on in the hospital - even though by her tone I can tell that she still doesn't believe I am actually in labor. What's left to do now? Keep walking in circles around the downstairs. Meanwhile Mase thinks this is the best game EVER and is running behind me giggling like a little school girl. He even is mocking my hippo breathing LOL. Good thing he is cute!
8:00 am - Joshy FINALLY gets back from work. We are heading to drop Mase off and head to the hospital. It now hits me that his little world is about to be rocked. I squeeze him extra tight as goes into Granny's. Even though my husband will never claim this, I know that he did not believe that I was in labor. He says it's because I was so calm and it didn't look like I was in that much pain. To make matters worse, on the way to the hospital I only had 4 contractions over the hour trip due to traffic. I'm not sure what it is, but the second I knew we were going to the hospital, my contractions went from every 2-3 minutes lasting 2-3 minutes to only having 4 contractions the entire ride there. Are you kidding me?! Since it was 8 am and my doctors office (which is at the hospital) was open, we decided to ask if the doctors could check me before we went to the hospital - especially since husband and on-call nurse kept acting like I wasn't in labor, now I was starting to wonder if I was overreacting.
9:00 am - After the longest walk ever to the doctors office with 3 contractions and I had 2 more contractions while waiting in line to check in at the doctor's we are checked in and waiting. I love the nurses at the doctor's office because they saw how much pain I was in and immediately called me back. Contractions are now down to 1-3 minutes apart lasting 3-4 minutes. After discussing with the doctor and nurse - which were still really calm - they were going to check to see how dilated I was. Come on people, I am in labor here and in pain! The doctor checked me and his head immediately shot up to the nurse. He then told her that she needed to call the hospital and prepare a room FAST. Guess what?! I was 5 cm dilated. I wanted to scissor-kick everyone in that room along with the on-call nurse in. the. face. I was so happy. Nobody wanted believe the whale-lady and looks who's about to birth a kid like. right. now. As I was leaving, the doctor and nurse asked if I wanted to come teach the birthing classes because apparently I was way too calm to be 5 cm. So what this means is I should have started round-housing people the second I walked in the room. Note taken.
9:15 am - We walk into the maternity ward to check in. Contractions are a minute apart lasting 3-4 minutes. GET ME AN EPIDURAL STAT! In walks the HOTTEST doctor ever. Seriously. It should be against the law to have a hot delivery doctor. He checks me and in the short walk over I have dilated to 6.5 cm. WHERE IS THAT EPIDURAL?! Apparently you have to have at least 1 bag of fluid before getting the epidural. I do not have that long to wait until I am past no return. I will say that I had the BEST nurse ever. She got the bag started first then gave me paperwork because she knew I was not going to last that long. She immediately called the Anesthesiologist to tell her that I needed one now.
Side note: I have low platelets. Throughout my entire pregnancy, they have continued to watch them especially in the last trimester because that's when platelets begin to drop. If you have below 100 then you cannot get an epidural. Mine have been consistently 120 which is still really low from what I understand. But my doctors have told me that this would not be a problem.
9:45 am - It is now 9:45 am - WHERE IS MY EPIDURAL?! Because of the low platelets, the anesthesiologist was very hesitant and did not want to give me the epidural. Usually they test your platelets the day of. But considering I was already 6.5 cm dilated and this was my second child (which means that labor takes less time than the first), they did not have time to test my platelets. Then the nurse, the beautiful, magnificent, glorious nurse told Ms. A that if I didn't get the epidural now, I wouldn't be able to have one. While they are arguing about this, my contractions are lasting 5 minutes and I am only having 1-2 minutes break. I literally feel like someone is stabbing me in my uterus. My wonderful husband is trying everything he can do but not panic because he knows that I am in so much pain.
10:00 am - EPIDURAL IS IN THE ROOM! My wonderful nurse finally got Ms. A to agree to do it. Which to Ms. A's defense, she told me that she wouldn't put anything in my body that she wouldn't put in hers and that's why she would so hesitant to do this. She wanted to make sure that I would be okay. Blah blah blah, I don't care what happens at this point just give me the epidural. As they bring in the epidural cart, they have also called the delivery cart just in case anything happens.
Let me just say that I am so glad that I did not see what the epidural looks like. My poor husband saw that needle and went ghostly white. He claims that it's because he didn't eat breakfast that morning. I know it's because of the 27348398754 inch needle they put in your spine! But I was so proud of him for waiting until after it was in so he could hold my hand and distract me before having to sit down. So then the wonderful nurse had to call in someone to bring him juice and crackers - pansy! LOL I guess it was a running joke because she said to the other nurse that brought him the snacks "dad's in IT and is about to go down." I giggled every time.
10:10 am - I am in heaven. No more pain, I can't even feel my lower half. This is glorious! Now it's just waiting time.
At 11:35 am - WonderNurse comes in and says that it is time to start pushing. Ms. A must have been dang good because I did not feel him drop through to the exit!
11:55 am - Out comes our little Turner Alan, weighing 8 lbs 13 ounces and 21.5 inches long. Big boy!
I was so worried about how my heart could be any bigger. Would my love for Mase shrink to make room for T? No. My heart grew twice as big that day. We thank God every day for you and love you SO much! You have completed our family and we are so proud to be your parents.
LOVE this, you are seriously hilarious! Best birth story ever, so proud of you!
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