Mother's Day Fudge Up

Ever since I was little, I remember my Dad going all out on Mother’s Day. I never really understood why until recently when my mother enlightened me with this story: Mom was pregnant with my sister, Sarah, on her first Mother’s Day. That morning my Dad had gotten up and went to get and deliver a present complete with flowers to my Grandmother that lived down the road. Well, she waited and waited all day and my father never brought home anything for her nor did he mention Happy Mother’s Day to her. Finally, she asked him why he didn't get her anything or at least acknowledge Mother’s Day to her. He looked at her with a confused expression and said, “Well, you’re not my mother.” Let’s just say he has NEVER lived it down. So each year he goes above and beyond with Mother’s Day presents.

I've come to the conclusion that men just don’t get it. It’s not 100% their fault. They just seem to ignore or completely miss the obvious. Here’s another example: I've been hinting to Josh the past couple of weeks that Mother’s Day is coming up so we could avoid the mistakes. Apparently, I didn't spell it out to him make it clear because this morning he informed me that I needed to call my Mother to make sure that I told her “Happy Mother’s Day.” I waited and waited to see if he was going to wish me one. If you know me, you
know I do not have struggle with patience. So, here’s how the conversation went:

Let me clarify, I am NOT upset that I did not get a gift. I am upset that because I haven’t actually given birth to a child means that I am not a mother. Have I not changed my eating habits? Have I not gone off of my medication? Have I not changed my workout routines? Have I not lost sleep worrying about M or being a mom or just being uncomfortable? And I guess I wanted to spend lots of money buying expensive maternity clothes because I can’t fit into my regular clothes, right? I guess my boobs have gotten bigger for no reason? I don’t drink alcohol anymore because I wanted to make my liver healthy again and because I look forward to driving you around while you are waste-face, right? That never gets annoying! Oh, and I just LOVE not feeling attractive when people feel the need to tell me such flattering things like my “face is getting fatter” or “am I sure my baby is healthy because I’m too skinny.” I guess I asked to go through all the body changes and mood swings and emotional breakdowns. I wanted those to happen, right? You think I am in love the idea of my hoo ha being ripped open and squeezing a watermelon out? I’m still not convinced it’s ever the same again!

Don’t get me wrong, I would not change ANY of this. I am so grateful and blessed that I have this opportunity and would go through it 192340823547235893 times again if that’s what it takes to meet Mason. I have earned the right to be recognized as a mother because I am the one that has been making sacrifices and have changed my lifestyle because I want to be the best mother I can.  And I know Josh didn't intentionally say this to hurt my feelings because he has been so great and supportive during this entire pregnancy. I truly believe he just didn't think about it like this. But it really hurt my feelings because a lot of times I feel like it’s viewed as I’m carrying a baby and it’s not that big of a deal. I think a lot of men don’t realize everything that you’re going through. They’re just oblivious to it all.

Bottom line: I feel like as soon as you know you’re pregnant, you are a mother. You change your lifestyle to do what’s best for your child. And I’m expecting a “happy Mother’s Day” because I have earned it.